69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you didnt know i had herpes?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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