i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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