I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I supernannyed him into submission
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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