So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
