actually, I'm a sock model
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
