Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
this hospital has no fireball
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
