I have demons in me.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
