Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
