Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
