i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
