So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize