and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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