Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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