New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
