With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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