She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
