I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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