Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
