Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
