no, he came in my armpit
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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