Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
