honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
