She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
