you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Watching her eat just hurts me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
