if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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