Say something about gay babies.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
