Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize