I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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