Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
