If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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