when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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