That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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