At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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