Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just had sex on a roof
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
