i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
