Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
