Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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