UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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