i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
