can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
