saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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