I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
