At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize