Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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