Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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