On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
