We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
