how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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