I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
