Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
