So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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