i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
