I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize