Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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