I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
