we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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