my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
