im about as happy as oj after his trial
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
