So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
