there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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