All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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