what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize