I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
