alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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