STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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