I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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