Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
