New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
