That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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