Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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