she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
