one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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