I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize