So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
please come you make the beer taste better
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
